S&!t my kid says
Today will be short and sweet. Lots to do.
Last night before dinner, my youngest daughter Drew asks me if I can change her assorted coin into some dollar bills. I gave it to her but told her to give mom the change because she looks for coins that are rare and she’d have a fit if we didn’t let her look through them.
After dinner, the discussion turned to boobs. Long story, but basically we started teasing Drew about me going to a strip club. She gets adamant and says “You can’t go there. And mom is sitting right beside you and you’re talking about other womens boobs.”
“But I like the boobs”, I said. “And besides, I wouldn’t go without mom.”
“EWWWWWW!! Gross! Well, you can’t put any dollar bills in their g-strings.”
To which I reply, “I’d let mom do that.”, which leads to another rousing chorus of “ewwws” and “gross”. I then add, “Did you ever wonder if those dollar bills you have came out of a stripper’s butt crack?”
“Disgusting dad. And now I won’t touch any dollars again”.
“Awesome! That means I don’t have to pay you any allowance any more!”
“Uh, no. You’ll just have to pay me in coin.”
ZING! And the kid gets another comeback. Tina is of course, laughing through the whole exchange. And you guys wonder where I come up with this stuff for Facebook….