Word Canoodling for your mind

All you need is love…well that and a lot of great communication.


The first time I saw her, really truly saw her for the first time, she stepped off the elevator at the office we both worked at. She had recently cut her hair short and I was devastated, but I couldn’t explain why. There was just something about this girl that struck me deeply and as cliché as it sounds; there was a little voice in my head that said “she’s the one”. But as quickly as it all came to me, I let it pass. I was married, had kids and at the time, and was clueless to the things going on outside my marriage.

It wouldn’t be until several years later, after separation from my wife that she and I would start hanging out together with friends. It wasn’t too long before those old feelings came back to the surface and I told her how I felt. She took her time deciding. After all, she would be inheriting a readymade family of 3 kids and I wasn’t her typical love interest. For whatever reason, she came around and decided to give things a try, even amidst all the talk about us behind our backs.

She and the kids took to each other really well, but that’s not to say that through the years we’ve not all had our differences and struggles. What family doesn’t? Still, some of the struggles were enough to make a sane person climb the wall and yet she stuck it out, helped me pull through the difficult times and kept the family going, despite the insurrection from outside our home. It still amazes me today, what we’ve come through and how strong we’ve become.

I proposed to her on March 15th 1999 and we married a few short months later on May 22nd at a small ceremony in my parents’ home. We spent our honeymoon in New Orleans and took our time coming back home, making stops along the way to drag out our time together as much as possible. I think we both knew just how soon a new life was coming at us and the adjustments married life would bring.

Through all the rough times there have been exceptional times together as well. Even through the rough times, the best of us comes out and we help each other pull through. I guess that’s the point I felt compelled to put all this into words. I sometimes can’t tell her enough what she means to me and even writing about all this, I can’t bring it out in words. There really just is no way to explain how she affects me even after 10 wonderful years of marriage.

Even so, we’ve both had a really rough time lately. I think a lot of it is monetary, as we are so much like many others, struggling to make ends meet in this poor economy, but there were some underlying issues we couldn’t touch because the communication was there, but we were really talking about different things. She’s gone through one of the biggest changes in her life, emotionally and physically, which hit me hard. Our intimacy has reached new heights, but it came so fast I couldn’t handle it on an emotional level. That’s right guys, beyond all the sex, there really is an emotional attachment and I freaked out. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say I wasn’t used to all the new attention and I started getting the wrong ideas about why.

We’ve both since started talking, even more than we have in the past. We’re seeing a counselor, not for the reasons most people though. We were even warned that these counselors could turn our marriage against us by bringing up truths and issues that were not really there. All I can say is, on the contrary, our counselor has done nothing but good for us both. The communication is better, the intimacy is better and we’re falling in love all over again. So to all of you out there, troubled or not, a counselor can definitely make changes in your life; you just have to be willing to listen and work together. Then again, isn’t that what successful marriages are? It’s not just communication, but listening, understanding one another’s wants and needs, being a friend and above all us, loving that person unconditionally.

So, in my traditional long winded way, I’ve come full circle just to say what I started out to say;

Tina, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love you with everything I am. I am falling in love with you all over again like we’ve just started dating. It’s the giddy feeling you have when you first start out in love. It’s the butterflies in your stomach when we’re together, like the first time you ride a roller coaster and you’re not sure what’s coming next. It’s the tenderness of your touch, the warmth of your kiss. The way your eyes see me when I look into them. The way my heart longs for you when we’re apart. It’s all those things wrapped up together inside of me, ready to burst and be free. You are truly my soul mate, my best friend and my whole world.

Love you babe!

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